


Mycroft Holmes left the chat

by lifeandliterature



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Funny, Gen, Greg Lestrade & John Watson Friendship, Greg Lestrade & Sherlock Holmes Friendship, Greg Lestrade is a Good Friend, Holmes Brothers, Hope you enjoy, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Knives, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Mycroft Being Mycroft, Platonic Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Poor Mycroft, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Texting, Texting, hopefully, it'll make sense when you read it, mycroft really doesn't want to be here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29175300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeandliterature/pseuds/lifeandliterature
Summary: Sherlock creates a group chat with Molly, Mrs Hudson, Mycroft, John and Greg. Chaos ensues.
Comments: 59
Kudos: 61





	1. BORED!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I usually post on fanfiction.net (you can find me under the same name) but I find AO3 much more efficient and easy to navigate so I’m planning to start posting on here. Anyway, this story is a series of excerpts from a group text between Sherlock, John, Greg, Mrs H, Molly and Mycroft (who really doesn’t want to be in it :D) and each chapter is a new day/conversation. While writing this I realised that Molly, Mycroft and Mrs H all have the initials MH, which is not very helpful, but this is who’s who... MollyH and MrsH should be rather self-explanatory, then MH is Mycroft, and Sherlock, John and Greg are just their initials. The first few chapters are a sort of introduction but, after that, I promise it’s very funny. Right, I think that’s everything, please feel free to R&R and I hope you enjoy :)...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER- I do not own "Sherlock Holmes" or any related characters. I do not profit off of this in any way, it is purely for fun. I own nothing but the writing.

**Tuesday 17th January 2018, 03:07 AM**

_Sherlock created group “BORED!!!”_

_Sherlock Holmes added John Watson to the chat_

SH- Bored. 

_Sherlock Holmes added Gregory Lestrade to the chat_

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

_Sherlock Holmes added Mrs Hudson to the chat_

_Sherlock Holmes added Molly Hooper to the chat_

**03:09 AM**

SH- Bored. 

**03:14 AM**

SH- Bored. 

**03:22 AM**

SH- BORED, BORED, BORED! 

GL: Sherlock, it’s three in the bloody morning, if you’re bored, GO TO SLEEP!! 

SH- Can’t. 

GL- Can’t what? 

SH- Sleep. 

GL- Oh for- why? 

SH- I’m bored! Do try to keep up, George. 

GL- Right, first of all, it’s GREG and you know it and second….what??? So you can’t sleep because you’re bored? 

SH- Precisely. 

GL- I’m just gonna pretend that makes sense. 

SH- Why has no one else replied to my messages? 

GL- Oh, I dunno Sherlock, maybe because it’s THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING! 

SH- So? 

GL- SO?? So….normal people sleep, Sherlock. 

SH- I am insulted that you’d even begin to consider me “normal”. 

GL- Wouldn’t dream of it. 

**03:34 AM**

SH- Bored. 

**03:38 AM**

SH- BORED!! 

**03:49 AM**

SH- Lestrade??? 

GL- For the love of god, Sherlock, I was sleeping. Which is what you should be doing. 

SH- Bored. 

GL- Yes, you mentioned that. Can’t you just bother John? 

SH- He’s asleep. 

GL- Yes, right, good. Leave him that way, please. 

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_

SH- Why did Mycroft leave??? 

GL- I can’t imagine. 

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

MollyH- Hello?? What’s this group for? And can you please stop texting at this time, I’ve got work tomorrow xxx

GL- So have I!!! 

MollyH- Oh, hi Greg. So, what is this group? xxx

GL- Sherlock’s bored and he’s decided to make it everyone’s problem. 

MollyH- Right… 

SH- Molly, you’re awake!!! 

MollyH- Yes, hello Sherlock, I am, but I shouldn’t be. I’ve been up all week writing a report for work and I’m exhausted. I’m going to go to bed now, goodnight. xxx

GL- Me too. Sherlock, please, for the sake of everyone’s sanity, stop texting. If you’re bored, go to your mind castle and do...something. I dunno how it works but PLEASE just shut up. 

SH- 1. It’s mind palace not castle. 

SH- 2. A mind palace is a strategy of memory enhancement which uses visualizations of familiar spatial environments in order to enhance the recall of information. The items to be remembered in this mnemonic system are mentally associated with specific physical locations. The method relies on memorized spatial relationships to establish order and recollect memorial content.

SH- 3. So, no, it doesn’t “work like that”. 

SH- 4. Believe me, Detective Inspector, if I had the option not to sleep, I’d take it. 

SH- 5. Still bored. 

**03:58 AM**

SH- Bored. 

**04:32 AM**

SH- So bored. 

**Wednesday 18th January 2018, 08:07 AM**

JW- So that’s where the 100 texts came from. 

GL- He actually shut up last night though, bloody miracle. 

JW- Yeah, he’s currently fast asleep on the sofa. Reckon even The Almighty Sherlock Holmes gets tired sometimes. 

GL- Haha! He’d never admit it. 

MollyH- Morning all! Off to work now, hope everyone has a wonderful day! xx 

GL- That’s nice, Molly. You too. 

MollyH- :) I really do have to get to work now. Bye x

JW- Shit. Me too, I’m late. Though, I’m glad to leave, Sleeping Beauty’s currently snoring loud enough to bring the house down. I’m surprised the neighbours haven’t complained. Bye. 

GL- Lol, bye. 

**To be continued…**


	2. Sherlock DOESN’T snore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update already?! It’s a miracle, lol. Hope you enjoy :)...

**10:16 AM**

SH- For your information, I do not snore. 

JW- Finally woken up, I see. 

SH- I do not snore. 

JW- Yes, you do. 

SH- I do not, nor have I ever, snored!

JW- Then what’s this? 

_John Watson added an attachment: 237926969 PDF Sherlock snoring16384749_

MollyH- Hahahaha! 

SH- Fake.

JW- Whatever you say. 

GL- You recorded him sleeping, John? That’s not creepy at all. 

JW- Oh shut up, you would have done the same thing. 

MrsH- Who are you people??? Why are you contacting me??? 

JW- Mrs H, it’s John. This is a group chat. 

MrsH- John? Is that you? Why does it have numbers? Is it some sort of code? 

JW- That’s my phone number, you don’t have me saved as a contact. 

MrsH- What? 

JW- Don’t worry. Are you at 221B? Sherlock can show you. 

SH- Can I? 

JW- Yes, you can. 

MrsH- Thank you, loves. I was rather worried for a minute there. Thought maybe one of my ex-husband’s gang members had found me. 

GL- I thought your ex-husband was the leader of a drug cartel?! 

MrsH- I’ve got more than one ex-husband, dearie. 

GL- Right….

JW- Remind me never to get on your bad side, Mrs H. 

MollyH- Agreed! 

MrsH- Oh, you don’t even want to know who I dated in unil! ;) 

**11:00 AM**

MH- For the record, Sherlock does snore. 

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_

_John Watson added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

JW- THANK YOU! 

GL- John, remember that case in Cornwall last year? 

JW- Oh my god, yes! Sherlock fell asleep on my shoulder, the adorable little shit. 

GL- Yep, snored loud enough to bring the whole train down, too. Hahaha

JW- Molly? Mrs H? Thoughts? 

MrsH- Oh he definitely snores, I’ve heard him enough times to be sure of that! 

MollyH- Oh, 100%, lol xxx 

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “BORED!!!” to “Sherlock snores”_

SH- I hate you all.


	3. A lesson in knives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I’m really enjoying writing this fic and I’m planning to post a new chapter every few days or so. (let’s see if I can actually stick to a schedule for once :D) Anyway, at the end of this chapter, there’s a little debate about the best knife to stab someone with and how to do it. There may be some inaccuracies as, shockingly, I’m not a serial killer and so I’m not educated in this area, LOL. I tried to do some research but then realised that I was using my school Google account and that they could see my search history… So, long story short, my teachers probably think I’m a murderer. Oh well, if I don’t update soon, I’ve been arrested. Just kidding….hopefully ;). Annnnnyyyyywwwwaaaayyy, feel free to leave a comment (it would make my day, lol) and I hope you enjoy :)...

**Friday the 27th January 2018 1:36 PM**

GL- Dear f*cking lord, I’m gonna rip my eyes out!

JW- Ummmm…

JW- Is everything alright, Greg?? 

MollyH- Yes, are you okay??? xxx 

**1:43 PM**

MollyH- Greg??? xxx

JW- Greg?

 **1:56 PM**

JW- Greg, seriously mate, this isn’t funny. 

MollyH- Exactly! Please answer us, Greg! xxx 

**1:58 PM**

MH- If Detective Inspector Lestrade is in any real danger, I can have men at his location in exactly 12 minutes. 

JW- For some reason, I’m not reassured by that. 

**2:01 PM**

GL- Oh god, sorry guys, didn’t mean to freak anyone out! I’m in a ridiculously boring meeting that’s been going on for three and a half hours and seriously feel the need to stab someone and/or myself. No serious danger…

GL- Though if Smithson asks one more question about the “safety of the city”, that may change. 

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_

MollyH- Oh thank goodness! So glad you’re okay xxx

JW- Ditto. Please don’t freak us out like that again. 

GL- I’ll try my best. 

**2:13 PM**

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “Sherlock snores” to “Please God kill me now”_

GL- God, I’m surrounded by idiots. 

SH- Sounds familiar. 

GL- Now you turn up? Not when you thought I might be in mortal danger? Glad to know you care, S. 

SH- Please, I knew you were never in any serious danger. 

GL- And how did you know that, exactly? 

**2:17 PM**

JW- Greg, I’m sitting in the same room as him and he’s been typing non-stop for the past few minutes. I think you may regret asking that question. 

GL- NO, forget it, Sherlock. I don’t need to know. 

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

**2:27 PM**

GL- Sherlock…

SH- ? 

GL- What’s the best way to stab someone? Seriously considering it if this lecture goes on for much longer. 

SH- Use a smaller, sharper knife if you are planning to stab them from close-range and/or need to conceal it. But if you want to inflict more damage and are not concerned about secrecy, use a larger knife, which you can yield from further away. If that’s what you’re aiming for I’d recommend a carving knife. 

MH- Correct, for the most part, brother mine. However, personally I would favour a Damascus steel blade, preferably hand-forged, with a four millimetre blade thickness, to ensure a sufficient entry through the rib cage. 

MH- Hypothetically, of course. 

GL- ….. 

GL- You do realise I was kidding, right? 

JW- You two scare me.


	4. Holmes Brothers’ Serial Killing Service

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter so far and I had such a laugh writing it, so I hope you enjoy :)...

**Monday the 30th January 2018 12:14 PM**

MrsH- This strange man keeps shouting at me. 

MollyH- Oh, can I do anything? Stay safe and call if you need me to come and pick you up xxx

JW- Oh god Mrs H, is everything alright?? Me, Sherlock and Greg are on a case and it’ll take us at least 2 hours to drive home. Are you in any danger? 

SH- Sherlock, Greg and I are on a case.* 

JW- Git. 

SH- And, yes, Mrs Hudson, is everything alright? 

GL- Sherlock, under any other circumstances, I’d enjoy you correcting John’s grammar, but it’s maybe not the time right now, yeah? 

GL- Mrs H, please let us know you’re alright. 

MrsH- He just said something about Tesco’s and he won’t turn off. 

MollyH- Turn off?? x 

JW- Wait…

JW- Mrs H? What man are you talking about? 

MrsH- The man in my phone. He won’t stop shouting at me, dearie. How do I stop him? 

GL- Do you mean Siri?? 

MrsH- Is that his name? I think he should be called Gerald. He seems like a Gerald. 

JW- So it’s just Siri “shouting at you”? No one else is there with you? 

MrsH- Oh, no dearie, just the man in the phone. How do I make him shut up?

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “Please god kill me now” to “Petition to change Siri’s name to Gerald”_

SH- Mrs Hudson, unless this is a matter of utmost importance, please do not contact me at present. I am very glad you are safe but I am on a case and I need to focus. 

GL- WE are on a case, Sherlock. Me and- Oh for God’s sake...John and I… do exist, you know. 

JW- Sherlock, might I also remind you of that thing we talked about the other day. It’s called tact. 

MollyH- LOL! xxx 

SH- How was the text I sent in any way tactless? 

JW- “Unless this is a matter of utmost importance, please do not contact me”, “I am very glad you are safe BUT”. For all you know, she could have been kidnapped. 

GL- Yeah, there shouldn’t have been a “but” in that sentence. 

GL- Yes, I read it, I know how it sounded. 

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

SH- Well, Mrs Hudson is perfectly fine, so there is no need to lecture me about tact. 

**12:37PM**

SH- I’m not tactless. 

SH- I'm insulted you think so. 

**12:48 PM**

SH- I am NOT tactless. 

**12:54 PM**

SH- Definitely not. 

SH- I am not tactless. 

**12:57 PM**

SH- Of course not. 

**12:59 PM**

SH- Hello??? John, Molly, Lestrade, where did you go? 

GL- What happened to “I’m on a case, please don’t contact me”??? 

SH- No one asked for your opinion, Ginny. 

GL- GINNY?!

MollyH- hahahahahahahahaha I’m laughing so hard right now, my colleagues are going to think I’ve gone mad xx

GL- GINNY? 

GL- Are you serious? 

JW- That’s the best one yet, I reckon 

SH- ? 

GL- FOR GOD’S SAKE…

GL- THAT’S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT GENDER! 

SH- My apologies, Graham. 

GL- Why do I bother 

MrsH- I hate to interrupt, but I really would like it if Gerald stopped shouting at me. 

GL- SERIOUSLY, MRS HUDSON?? YOU AS WELL?! 

GL- GREG! IT’S GREG! GREG, GREG, GREG, GREG! HOW HARD IS THAT? 

**1:13 PM**

GL- You were talking about your phone, weren’t you? 

MrsH- Yes, love, I was. 

GL- Sorry, Mrs H. No hard feelings? 

MrsH- Of course, dearie, it’s not a problem. I’d get angry too, if I was on a case with Sherlock. 

_Sherlock Holmes left the chat_

_Mycroft Holmes added Sherlock Holmes to the chat_

SH- MYCROFT! 

SH- Why would you add me back? 

SH- I evidently left for a reason. 

MH- Vengeance, brother mine. 

JW- They’ve switched brains. 

MrsH- Really, dears, I’m getting rather desperate now. He just told me the square root of Pi. 

SH- Square root of Pi = 1.77245385091 

MrsH- Oh goodness, I think I’ve accidentally turned Sherlock into Gerald. 

MrsH- Can you do that? 

MrsH- Is it something to do with the “Settings” thingamabob you were telling me about, John? 

JW- No, Mrs H, that’s just Sherlock being…. Sherlock. 

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “Petition to change Siri’s name to Gerald” to “Petition to get rid of Siri and replace him with Sherlock”_

SH- You do realise that Siri is a high-tech robot, not a human being? 

GL- Spot the difference. 

SH- I will kill you in your sleep. 

JW- I’d watch yourself, Greg, I believe him. 

MollyH- So do I lol xx 

SH- When I first met each of you, I devised detailed plans of how, if it ever came to it, I would kill and dispose of you. 

MollyH- … 

GL- Because that’s not scary at all. 

MrsH- Oh Sherlock, dear, that is rather worrying. 

JW- No, I’m curious, actually. 

JW- Go on then, Sherlock, how would you kill me? 

SH- I’m glad you asked…

GL- I’m not. 

SH- John. As we live together and you trust me with your life, it would be easiest to poison you. I keep several deadly poisons in the cupboards at Baker Street, I never know when one could come in handy in an experiment of mine, any one of those toxins could be used to end your life. Obviously, it would be an agonising death but, I suppose, assuming it had gotten to the point where I really wanted/needed to dispose of you, your pain wouldn’t matter to me. Now, it would be a simple matter of slipping one of those poisons (it would obviously have to be a tasteless, colourless substance) into your evening tea, and, assuming everything went to plan, you would be dead in a matter of minutes. As for what I would do with your body, well, that’s a different story entirely, but we don’t have time for that right now, what with the case being our number one priority. 

JW- Trusted* 

SH- ? 

JW- You said that I “trust you with my life”. 

JW- Now I’m not so sure. 

GL- I don’t know why I’m surprised, really, Sherlock. I should have expected you’d have something like this planned out. 

GL- And, before you say it, NO I do not want to hear how you’d “dispose of” me. I suspect it’d give me nightmares. 

MH- Would you be interested in hearing _my_ plans for your disposal, Detective Inspector? 

GL- EXCUSE ME? 

JW- Both of you?! 

GL- No, I really wouldn’t. 

MollyH- Just got out a meeting. I feel like I’ve missed something here… 

GL- Oh, don’t worry Molly, just Sherlock and Mycroft letting us know that they’ve both devised detailed plans about how they’d murder us, you know, “if it ever came to it”. Because that’s something normal people do. 

GL- Jesus Christ. 

MollyH- Right… 

SH- It’s always useful to plan ahead, even if the situation never arises, at least you’d have had a foolproof plan, if it had.

MH- Agreed, brother mine. I believe the saying is, “better to be safe than sorry”. 

GL- BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY?! 

GL- BETTER TO BE- 

JW- Calm down, Greg. 

GL- CALM DOWN? NO! 

GL- NO, SERIOUSLY, WHY IS NO ONE ELSE FREAKED OUT BY THIS? 

JW- You’ll be fine, as long as you never piss them off. 

GL- I- 

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “Petition to get rid of Siri and replace him with Sherlock” to “Holmes brothers’ serial killing service”_


	5. Bugger off, GEESE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much to everyone who has commented/subscribed/left kudos on this work so far, it means more than you can ever know and I love getting feedback and hearing what you’re enjoying about my fic! I’m a bit short of ideas at the mo and I’m very busy with school and exams, so if anyone has any ideas that I could base a chapter around, please feel free to drop them in the comments. It’d be very much appreciated. Anyway, thanks again and, as always, I hope you enjoy :)...

**Friday 10th February 2018 11:12 PM**

JW- Hiiiiiikiiiiiliiii!!! 

GL- Hi? 

MollyH- Everything alright, John? Ahaha xx

SH- Joghn’s drunk skjushahaba 

GL- Lol, so are you, by the looks of it. 

SH- I AM NOT deunk!! c 

JW- Yes yod are hahshahaha 

SH- No

JW- Yes 

SH- NO! 

SH- Geese, justb lettig you knwk JOHN is drunk, I am nog. 

GL- Geese? 

MollyH- I think he means Greg x

SH- I am not drunke 

GL- Sure, obviously just John, you seem like the picture of sobriety. 

SH- TGANK YOU! 

MollyH- Hahahaha this has made my evening xx

MrsH- Boys, what pub did you go to again? Will you be home soon? The washing machine’s gone a bit mad, I think you just need to hit it like you did last time, John. 

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “Holmes Brothers’ serial killing service” to “John Watson: Fixer of washing machines everywhere”_

_John Watson changed the group name from “John Watson: Fixer of washing machines everywhere” to “Bugger off, GEESE”_

GL- OI! 

MollyH- Bahahaha that’s your name now, Greg...sorry, GEESE! xx 

MrsH- You’re never getting away from that one, Detective Inspector ;). 

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

**11: 22 PM**

MrsH- But really, boys, I am rather worried about the washing machine. 

JW- If yoy chlodk the brtofn,,, it”Kk Turs of 

SH- Indeed. 

MrsH- Sorry? 

GL- Lol how drunk ARE you two? 

MollyH- Don’t drink TOO MUCH, guys, be safe xxx 

MH- My brother and Doctor Watson are located at “The Bush” pub, approximately 29 minutes from 221B Baker Street. Starting at 7:17 PM this evening, they have each consumed at least 4 pints of beer. If I fear they are, at any time, endangering themselves/others (I’m sure we all remember what happened the last time they were this drunk), I will have someone intervene. As of now, they are in no danger, although they will, I suspect, have a rather bad headache when they wake up tomorrow morning. 

MH- Sherlock, Doctor Watson, I would advise you stop drinking now and make your way home. 

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_

GL- Ummmmm….

GL- Does anyone ever wonder how Mycroft always knows things like this? 

MollyH- Yes, it’s rather disconcerting xx 

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

SH- MYCDSOFT!! 

SH- R,EMEBSR WHAT WE TAKCLD ABOUGD? 

SH- U AAID YOU’D STOIFPM DOJ THAT!! 

MH- It’s rather difficult to take you seriously when you’re drunk, brother mine. 

_Sherlock Holmes removed Mycroft Holmes from the chat_

MollyH- Ah, brotherly love, LOL! xxx 

GL- Sherlock, if you want my opinion, I think you should keep him in the chat. You know he’ll just keep leaving anyway, so, by removing him, you’ve saved him a job. BUT by adding him again, you prolong the suffering ;) 

MollyH- Don’t give him ideas in this state, Greg haha xxx 

SH- BRILANFT! 

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

SH- Ha! 

MollyH- Is John alright? xxx 

SH- He’s curedntly vovmidting. 

GL- Delightful. 

MollyH- Oh, that’s rather gross, I wish I hadn’t asked now lol. Hope he’s ok xx 

GL- Mrs Hudson, you’re awfully quiet, everything alright? 

MrsH- The washing machine exploded, dearie. 

GL- EXPLODED?! 

GL- WHAT, REALLY? 

MollyH- Oh god, are you ok? xxx 

MrsH- Perfectly fine, sweetheart. It was a tiny explosion...and a soapy one at that. No fire or anything. 

MollyH- Oh that’s...I want to say “good” but I’m not sure that’s a word I’d use right now lol xxx 

GL- Glad everything’s alright, Mrs H. 

GL- Need any help clearing up? I can come over, I haven’t got anything on tonight. 

GL-... If I don’t get a call telling me those two drunken idiots have blown up the pub or anything, haha. 

GL- Wouldn't put it past them, you know what they’re like when they’re drunk. 

MH- No explosions yet, Detective Inspector. 

MH- Excluding Mrs Hudson’s washing machine, evidently. 

MrsH- Thanks for the offer, Greg dear, but I’ll manage. 

MrsH- And I’m glad to hear they’re alright, Mycroft. 

JW- HIII! I VOCMITED! 

GL- Yes, we heard. 

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_


	6. Valentine's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I intended to post this on Valentine's Day (you’ll see why, when you start reading) but, long story short, editing this chapter took longer than I thought it would, so I didn’t post it in time. Oh well, it’s ready now, at least :). Anyway, this chapter may be a bit confusing as, towards the end, there’s a bit where John and Sherlock get in a little fight and everyone else ignores their messages and continues the conversation as if nothing’s happening. Hopefully it makes enough sense but if anything is unclear, just ask me and I’ll be happy to clarify.

**Tuesday 14th February 2018, 6:12 PM**

_Sherlock Holmes added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

SH- John has a date tonight. 

JW- Sherlock! 

JW- Was that really necessary to share with the entire group? 

SH- Yes. 

GL- Well, it is Valentine’s Day, after all. 

MollyH- Oh, that’s great, John! xx 

GL- Who’s the girl? 

JW- I don’t really see why it matters. 

GL- Come on, John, tell us! 

MollyH- Yes, John, spill xx

SH- Well go on then, John. “Spill”... 

JW- Shut it, Sherlock. 

JW- God, alright, FINE. 

JW- Well, she’s a lovely lady called Jenny… 

MrsH- A woman??? 

JW- Yes, Mrs H, OF COURSE it’s a woman. 

MrsH- Whatever you say, dear. 

JW- Mrs Hudson, I want to make this very clear…

JW- I am NOT gay! 

GL- Forget that, John, we wanna know more about this mystery lady you’re seeing…

JW- Right, whatever. As I said, her name’s Jenny, she’s really nice. 

GL- Is that it? 

JW- Ummmmmm 

JW- She’s got lovely blue eyes, blonde hair and she’s just a really sweet girl. 

SH- What John neglects to mention is that this is their fourth date. 

GL- I’m sorry...fourth?! 

MollyH- Why didn’t you tell us, John?? xx

JW- Oh, I'm not sure… maybe because it’s MY private life, not yours? 

_John Watson changed the group name from “Bugger off, GEESE” to “A group chat where we talk about anything except John’s love life, thanks very much”_

GL- Alright, keep your hair on. 

MrsH- Yes well, John dearie, she sounds like a lovely girl! 

MollyH- Yes, she does! xxx

SH- She won’t last.

JW- Excuse me? 

GL- What makes you say that, Sherlock? 

JW- God, don’t ask him that! Haven’t you learnt anything, after all these years? 

SH- Oh, no, I don’t have any deductions to share. 

JW- Then why did you say she “wouldn't last”? 

SH- I just have a feeling. 

MollyH- Hahahaha 

GL- Bahahahahaha, oh, that’s brilliant! 

GL- Years of Sherlock’s hour-long rants about what he’s deduced and how, but now he “just has a feeling”!!! 

GL- Oh god, I can’t stop laughing.

GL- This is great. 

SH- I don’t see how this is funny. 

GL- You wouldn’t. 

SH- What are you trying to imply, Gellert? 

GL- I swear you do it on purpose half the time. 

SH- Do what on purpose? 

GL- Oh for God’s sake, you know exactly what. 

MrsH- Please calm down, boys. I do hate it when you fight. 

GL- No one’s fighting, Mrs H, it’s alright. 

MollyH- Has anyone else got any plans tonight? xxx 

GL- Yeah, dinner and a movie with a woman I’ve been seeing for a couple of weeks. 

SH- A transparent attempt to change the subject, Molly. 

SH- Regardless, no, I do not have plans. 

MrsH- That’s a shame, dearie. I assumed you and John would be doing something together. 

JW- Oh for- 

JW- Mrs Hudson, what is it going to take to convince you that Sherlock and I are NOT together?? 

SH- You’re learning. 

JW- What? 

SH- You said “Sherlock and I”, not “Sherlock and me”, as you usually do. That is correct. 

JW- Oh yeah. 

JW- Cool. 

JW- I mean, I wouldn’t say I “usually” say it incorrectly. 

JW- Occasionally, maybe. 

JW- Not usually. 

SH- I beg to differ. 

GL- How about you, Molly? You doing anything tonight? 

MollyH- Thanks for asking :). I am, actually! I’m going to a lovely little restaurant with my bf xx

JW- Give me one example of when I’ve said it incorrectly. 

SH- One? Shame, I can think of so many. 

GL- Oh, that sounds fun! Which restaurant are you going to? 

MollyH- “Bernucios”. It has the BEST food! xx 

JW- Well, go on then. Name one. And it has to be a REAL example. I know what you’re like. 

MrsH- Oh, I’ve been there, dear! Loved it. I recommend the ravioli, it was delicious. 

MollyH- Oh, cool! How about you, Greg? Have you ever been? xx 

GL- Nope. Sounds good, though. 

SH- Friday, 9 PM. We were in a taxi, on our way home from a crime scene. You initiated a conversation with the cab driver, he asked you a question and you started your sentence with the words “Me and my friend”. The correct start to that sentence would have been “My friend and I”. 

MollyH- You should totally go there, sometime! 100% recommended xx

JW- Oh, please. You just made that up! 

MrsH- Yes, I agree. That place has some of the best Italian food I’ve ever tasted! 

GL- Will do, thanks for the recommendation, guys! 

SH- Even if I did (which I **didn’t** ), it wouldn’t make any difference. I doubt you would have remembered, either way. 

MollyH- No problem :) xx 

JW- What’s that supposed to mean? 

MrsH- My pleasure! Oh, I forgot to mention, the Prosecco is gorgeous! 

SH- Oh please, John. The other day, you “lost” your phone for two hours and then proceeded to find it in the pocket of the jacket you were wearing. 

GL- I’ll make sure to try it, then. 

JW- Oh, piss off, Sherlock. We can’t all go to our bloody mind palaces. If a “mind palace” is even a real thing because sometimes I doubt it. 

GL- Oooh John, now you’ve done it. 

MollyH- Greg! 

GL- What? 

MollyH- Don’t engage, let them figure it out on their own. That was the point of the conversation about “Bernucios'', after all x

GL- Yeah, I know. Can we stop pretending to talk about that now, anyway? haha 

MrsH- Pretending? Oh :( I was rather enjoying our conversation. 

MH- Over 100 new messages from the last hour. Not a problem, it isn’t as if I’m in an important meeting with the Prime Minister, regarding a matter of international security. 

GL- Oops, sorry Mycroft… 

MollyH- Oh, so sorry!! xx 

GL- Although, speaking of matters of international security…

GL- There is a chance that your brother may be on his way to murder John.

GL- I dunno if you’ve had a chance to read the messages but there was a slight incident and Sherlock’s mind palace was mentioned… Long story short, I’m not sure he’s taken it well, haha. 

MollyH- Are you alive, John?? Lol xx

**7:42 PM**

GL- You don’t think Sherlock would actually do something, do you? 

MollyH- Doubt it. Not over something as silly as this xx 

MrsH- Oooh, I wouldn’t put it past him, he can be quite the drama queen. I remember one time, I tidied his sock drawer and he wouldn’t speak to me for days! 

GL- … 

**8:12 PM**

GL- John, if Sherlock’s currently holding you hostage, send an “x”. 

MollyH- Oh stop it Greg, he’ll just be enjoying his date xx 

GL- That’s what Sherlock would want us to think… 

**8:24 PM**

JW- I’m perfectly fine and on a date, so I’d very much appreciate it if you could all be quiet for a bit. 

JW- Oh, who am I kidding, that’s never going to happen.

MH- That’s marvellous! You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that John is enjoying his date and that my dear brother has not, therefore, committed an act of brutal murder, as, of course, that is the most important thing I’ve had to deal with this evening.

_Mycroft Holmes left the chat_


	7. In Contempt of Court

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick reminder for anyone who may not remember, Anthea is Mycroft’s assistant (that’ll be relevant later in this chapter). Ooh, also, if any of you understand the joke about the 11 angry men in this chapter, tell me in the comments ;). I hope you enjoy :)...

**Thursday 2nd March 2018, 10:36 AM**

_John Watson added Mycroft Holmes to the chat_

JW- OH. MY. GOD. 

JW- This is the best thing ever. 

JW- I can’t stop laughing. 

JW- This is the best day of my life.

JW- Oh god, this is great. 

GL- Are you planning to tell us what’s so great, or just leave us guessing?

MollyH- I agree Greg, the suspense is killing me, lol xx 

JW- Alright….

JW- Christ, this is brilliant

MrsH- Do tell us, dear, I don’t know if I can handle the excitement. 

JW- Sherlock’s been called for jury duty!!! 

GL- ….and? 

JW- No, just think about it for a sec… 

SH- John is, as usual, overreacting.

MollyH- I’m confused, why is this funny? xx

JW- Think about it! _Sherlock_ has been called for jury duty. 

MollyH- omg hahahaha xx

GL- Wait… 

GL- Oh god, I understand now. 

GL- You’re right, John, this is brilliant. 

MrsH- I’m not sure I understand, dears. 

GL- Mrs Hudson, picture it; Sherlock Holmes, OUR Sherlock Holmes, doing jury duty....

GL- Think of the chaos. 

MrsH- Ah, yes. I can see why that might be a bit of an issue. 

JW- Imagine, Sherlock’s going to have solved it before he even walks into the room. 

GL- I can imagine him sitting there, arguing with the lawyers. 

MollyH- Yeah, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Lol! xx 

JW- Shouting “Wrong!” and then launching into a 20 minute speech, explaining where they went wrong. 

MollyH- There’s no way he’ll be able to stop himself! xx 

GL- I’d bet good money he’ll correct the judge as well!

GL- “Your honour, surely you should have overruled that objection, it made absolutely no sense whatsoever.” 

MollyH- He’s definitely going to be held in Contempt of Court! xx 

MrsH- I agree, dear. 

JW- Definitely. 

GL- Without a doubt. 

MrsH- Though, lawyers do ask some difficult questions. 

GL- Not even gonna ask how you know that, Mrs H. 

JW- I pity those 11 poor sods who have to be in the jury with him! 

GL- Oh God, they don’t stand a chance, do they? 

MrsH- They’re probably expecting a polite discussion, leading to a nicely agreed upon joint decision. 

MollyH- Well, some kind of two-sided conversation, at the very least lol xx

JW- They’ve got no idea what’s coming, have they?

GL- Not a clue. 

MrsH- Mind you, at least it’ll be over very quickly. 

JW- True, he’ll just give his speech, explaining in no uncertain terms why he’s right and that’ll be it. 

MollyH- Unless someone disagrees with him! xx

GL- God forbid. 

JW- Then there’ll be trouble! 

GL- It’ll be 11 angry men!

JW- I wonder if there’s ever been a murder of a juror in an actual courtroom before? 

MrsH- Oh dear, this isn’t going to go very well, is it? 

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “The groupchat where we talk about anything except John’s love life, thanks very much” to “Sherlock’s latest brush with the law”_

GL- God, how long do we reckon he’ll be there, before he gets kicked out? 

MollyH- A couple of days? xx

GL- Nah, no chance. Couple of hours, maybe? 

JW- If we’re lucky. 

MrsH- Maybe we should place bets ;) 

GL- Wait, does Mycroft know about this? 

GL- Oh, who am I kidding, of course he does. 

JW- He probably arranged it. 

MH- I am a part of this group text, am I not? No need to talk about me as though I cannot read these messages. 

GL- Yeah, sorry Mycroft. 

GL- Soooo…

GL- How long do YOU reckon he’ll be there? 

MH- I predict 5 hours, whereas Anthea thinks it’ll be a day.

GL- Seems about right. 

MH- I just hope I do not have to bail him out. 

MH- Quite literally. 

SH- So glad you’re enjoying yourselves. 

SH- Besides, I don’t know why you’re all so concerned. 

SH- They’re lucky to have me. 

**A few months later, 8:47 AM**

JW- Good luck, Sherlock! 

MrsH- Yes, I hope everything goes well! 

SH- There is no such thing as luck, but I appreciate the sentiment. 

JW- Right, well...have a good time, I guess? 

**3:16 PM**

SH- This is unimaginably dull, as expected. 

MollyH- Are you allowed your phone in court?? xx

SH- No. 

MollyH- Ok…

GL- Best not to ask, Molly. 

MH- Behave, Sherlock. 

JW- Yeah, try not to get kicked out on your first day. 

**The next day, 1:26 PM**

JW- He got kicked out. 

MollyH- lol, lasted longer than we thought, though xx 

GL- What did he do? 

SH- For your information, I didn’t “do” anything. 

JW- Oh, so many things. But the final straw was when he called the judge “a pompous, insufferable idiot”, apparently. 

GL- Ah.


	8. The malfunctioning pheasant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, you have no idea how much fun I had writing this chapter, it’s definitely been the funniest to write so far! I hope you enjoy :D…

**Saturday 25th March 2018, 6:12 PM**

GL- Sherlock, you around? 

GL- I wouldn’t text on a group chat, only I’ve been trying to reach you all day and I was wondering if you’d lost your phone, or something. 

GL- Is he with you, John? 

JW- Nope…

JW- Well, he was about half an hour ago. I’ve just popped to the corner shop for some milk as he used it all up as part of some experiment. I dunno what it was but it involved eyeballs. 

JW- Reading that back, I now realise most of those details were unnecessary. 

JW- Anyway, he should be at the flat, I dunno why he hasn’t been answering his phone. 

JW- Although, thinking about it, I don’t seem to remember him getting any calls today… 

JW- WAIT 

JW- Wait, I know why. 

JW- He dropped his phone out the window a couple of days ago and it’s been weird ever since. 

JW- So that’s probably why he hasn’t been getting your calls. 

JW- Although there is a chance he’s just ignoring you, for some reason, haha. 

JW- Right, I’ll shut up now. 

GL- Well, that was a rollercoaster. 

GL- Thanks, though. 

GL- And how the hell did he drop his phone out the window??? 

JW- You don’t wanna know. 

**6:27 PM**

SH- Feet your information, I am not ignoring you, my pheasant has just been malfunctioning today. 

GL- WHAT?! 

GL- Is this some sort of code, have you been kidnapped? 

MollyH- “Feet your information”?? Did you mean “for”? xx 

GL- I’m more worried about his malfunctioning pheasant… 

SH- Oh, for food’s sake, I did not trim that. 

GL- HUH? 

GL- I dunno what’s happening but it’s hilarious. 

JW- Well, this was an interesting series of texts to come back to. 

JW- I’m coming back to Baker Street now, so I’ll let you know what the hell’s going on with Sherlock. 

SH- There is nothing “going on” with magazine, as I have troubled you, my photography is multitasking. 

GL- Yeah, that makes perfect sense. 

MrsH- I’ll feel awful if something is actually wrong but this is very funny, Sherlock dear. 

SH- Oh, this is dead laundry!

SH- I DID NOT THINK THAT! 

SH- There is a proactive with my auntie! 

MH- I _was_ planning to watch a comedic film tonight, but I feel this is rather more entertaining. 

**6:48 PM**

JW- Right, I’ve just arrived home and I think you’ll all be relieved to hear that Sherlock's not gone mad and he hasn’t been kidnapped. Apparently, when he dropped his phone out the window, it did more damage than he thought and now his autocorrect is buggered. 

SH- Everytime I try to geographical someplace, it crematoriums it. 

JW- Right, I’ll translate. 

JW- Apparently he tried to type “Everytime I try to type something, it changes it”. 

SH- Existential! 

SH- Volcanic!* 

SH- No!... Intimate!* 

SH- NO! 

MollyH- As hilarious as this is, maybe he should just use your phone to text, for the moment, John? ;) xx 

JW- Yeah that’s a good idea, I reckon. 

JW- As you all know, my phone has been malfunctioning ever since it’s unfortunate introduction to the pavement outside my window. Evidently, this has affected the auto correction function as, whenever I try to type something (for example “phone”), it changes it to something else entirely. - SH 

GL- Yeah, John already explained that.

GL- Anyway, I’m not sure I want you to use John’s phone, this has been absolutely hilarious haha. 

GL- I still wanna know how your phone ended up falling out the window… 

JW- That is unimportant.- SH

JW- Long story short, he was angry with the eyeballs.- The actual owner of this phone. 

MollyH- Eyeballs? xx

MollyH- Oooohhh from the experiment! xx 

JW- That is not true, John. My phone simply fell out of the window.- SH

JW- Oh yeah, that’s DEFINITELY what happened…- John 

GL- Why are you two talking...via text… using the same phone...when you’re sitting right next to each other?

JW- Dunno- Person who’s getting very sick of having to sign his name after every text when it’s his own phone 

GL- I think we can tell who’s who, John. I doubt Sherlock would say “dunno” ;) 

JW- Piss off

MollyH- Yeah, that’s definitely John, lol xx 

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “Sherlock’s latest brush with the law” to “Sherlock Holmes and the malfunctioning pheasant”_


	9. April Fools Day (part one)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I haven’t updated in such a long time, this chapter took ages! I had to think of all the different pranks (that’ll make sense once you’ve read it) and I’ve been SUPER busy with school! I’m planning for this chapter to be quite long, so I've decided to split it into two parts. This is part one and part two should be coming fairly soon (once I’ve written it lol). Anyway, I’m really tired and stressed at the mo and feel like this chapter may not be quite the same quality as some of the others but please give it a read nonetheless and let me know what you thought! I think that’s everything, I hope you enjoy :)...

**Saturday 1st April 2018, 09:26 AM**

SH- Morning all. 

GL- Morning?

GL- I think? 

GL- Not like you to wish us good morning. 

GL- Have you been kidnapped? 

JW- That’s your explanation for everything, isn’t it, Greg? 

GL- Yup. 

MollyH- Sherlock, you seem to be in a particularly good mood today! Did something happen? xx 

JW- Yeah he’s been overly cheerful all morning...it’s really weird.

SH- Am I not allowed to express joy on this wonderful morning? 

GL- Jesus Christ that’s really not like you Sherlock, what’s going on? 

SH- Nothing is going on, I am just overjoyed to have the opportunity to speak to my dearest friends. 

MrsH- Is anyone else worried for his safety? 

GL- Or sanity… 

GL- Is he at 221 right now, John? 

JW- Nope, he went out a couple of hours ago. Dunno where coz he wouldn’t tell me anything but he seemed happy about it. 

MollyH- Where are you, Sherlock? xx 

SH- That is for me to know and for you to find out. 

GL- Is this an experiment of some sort? 

GL- “Don’t be an arse to your friends for a day and see what happens”? 

JW- Doubt he could ever be persuaded to partake in _that_ experiment, Greg. 

GL- You have a point.

GL- WAIT 

GL- Is this something to do with you, Mycroft? 

MH- I assure you, Detective Inspector, if this was my doing, I would make absolutely certain that my dearest brother was a great deal less transparent in his poorly disguised attempts at lulling you into a false sense of security. 

GL- Right…

JW- So you think he’s planning something? 

MH- I suspect that may be the case. 

MrsH- I’m rather nervous now, Sherlock can be scary when he wants to be. I remember one time, I asked him if he’d like to come to Tesco’s with me, to pick up some bread, and he threatened me with a mozzarella stick! It doesn’t sound bad but, I assure you, if you had seen the look on his face, you’d be quaking in your boots! 

GL- That’s a great story, Mrs H hahahaha 

JW- I remember that! Didn’t he say something along the lines of “you may laugh now, but if you even mention that dreaded supermarket again, let’s just say that I won’t be the one with a stick of mozzarella shoved down my throat”? 

MrsH- Oh yes, it was something like that. 

MollyH- What’s he got against Tesco’s??? xx 

JW- It’s a long story. 

**12:13 PM**

GL- OH MY F*CKING GOD, SHERLOCK YOU ABSOLUTE B*STARD!!! 

MollyH- Omg, what happened?! xx

JW- What did he do?...

GL- Right, so, this morning Sherlock phoned me and said there was a case he needed my help with. I won’t go into detail but he told me the suspect worked at the takeaway downtown (the stupid one where the workers have to stand outside dressed up as animals) and that he needed me to pretend to be the new guy and get close to him so he’d trust me and eventually give up some info regarding the case. Anyway, apparently this required me to dress up as a f*cking chicken and do a literal song and dance as that’s what this guy did for a living. Now, I asked Sherlock why he or John couldn’t do it and he reminded me that they were regularly in the papers nowadays and they couldn’t risk this guy recognising them. You can’t tell me that wasn’t a valid point so I thought nothing of it and, reluctantly, agreed…. I stood outside that godforsaken shop for TWO HOURS, dressed as a bloody chicken, singing the same song and doing the same dance over and over again, waiting for this suspect to turn up. And, you guessed it, said suspect did not exist. 

GL- Christ, the bloody song’s drilled into my brain. 

GL- I’m just glad no one I knew was there. 

SH- Oh, don’t worry, Gavin. The security cameras captured more than enough. I now possess some very amusing footage. 

SH- “Cluck, cluck, cluck! Burgers, hotdogs, chicken too! Come on down, turn your frown upside down... ” 

GL- Sherlock, I swear to God, if you ever utter another word of that damn song, you’ll be sorry. 

MH- Oh dear, Detective Inspector. What a hilarious turn of events, brought on by my dearest brother! 

JW- Oh, Greg! I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh but I can’t help it. 

JW- Might I just add, I had no idea he was going to do any of this and played no part in it whatsoever.

**1:29 PM**

MollyH- OH MY GOD, SHERLOCK! That was so scary, why would you do that??? 

JW- He did something to you too? 

GL- What happened?

MrsH- Yes, what happened, dear? 

MollyH- I was just working, and I was particularly excited about the body of Toby Smith I’ve been examining as there’s a fascinating rash on the abdomen. Anyway, that’s irrelevant haha, I’m going off track. So, I’d just come back from my lunch break and walked into the morgue (my job’s so glamorous lol) when I heard a noise. Now, bear in mind, it’s really dark in there and I was alone. I walked over to one of the shelves and unzipped the body bag with the corpse I was supposed to be examining….It was empty. Suddenly, there was a noise that sounded sort of like a groan and then the door slammed shut behind me! I tried to leave but it was locked! I heard another groan and then a creaking noise and, when I looked behind me, I saw a silhouette of someone moving towards me. When the figure came closer, I saw their face and screamed! Somehow, it looked exactly like Toby Smith but his face was covered in blood and his eyes were blank! Now, I know it’s stupid and that I should have realised it was a prank but I was so scared and it was really dark. Just as this guy was about to reach me, the shelf I was standing next to swung open and Sherlock jumped out! Turns out, with the help of some contact lenses, fake blood and a guy that looks alarmingly similar to the late Toby Smith, Sherlock had planned it all. I feel a bit silly now lol x 

MH- That is an ingenious show of trickery! Especially for my dearest brother to plan and execute _alone._ I am interested to know how he had the connections to track down someone who looked almost identical to the deceased. 

JW- Jesus Molly, that must have been terrifying! 

JW- Also, I feel like you’re hinting at something, Mycroft, but I can’t figure out what. 

GL- That’s bloody hilarious, Molly! 

MollyH- Not for ME! 

SH- I don’t know why you’re all so surprised. 

SH- Did you forget the date?

GL- The date? 

JW- 1st of April 2018? 

JW- Oh my god…

JW- APRIL FOOLS DAY?

GL- Are you serious?? Sherlock Holmes takes part in April Fools Day?! 

SH- Not under the usual circumstances, no. This year I have decided to do so. 

MrsH- Why? 

SH- Bored. No good cases. 

MollyH- So you pranked Greg and I out of boredom?? x 

SH- Indeed. 

GL- Just as I think I’m starting to understand you…

SH- Oh, do not endeavour to understand me, you will undoubtedly fail. 

JW- Yeah, I’ve realised that. 

**2:21 PM**

MrsH- SHERLOCK!

JW- Oh god, he’s gonna get all of us, isn’t he? 

MollyH- What did he do, Mrs Hudson? xx 

MrsH- Give me a minute, dearie, you know how long it takes me to type. 

MrsH- Well, I’d just popped round to Sainsbury’s to buy some cheese and, as I walked in, I realised that everyone in the shop had completely frozen! There must have been over fifty people in there and every single one of them was standing still! Some were even in the middle of reaching for something on the shelves! I was terrified, I had no idea what was going on! (I must admit, I briefly considered aliens of some sort) I went up to one lady and waved my hand in front of her face but she didn’t seem to be able to see me! I was so confused! After about five minutes of wandering round the shop, I was starting to panic. That was when I spotted Sherlock standing still just like the rest of them and realised what was going on. So I grabbed a bottle of gin and a couple of packets of digestives and walked right out of there! 

SH- I must admit, that isn’t quite how I intended it to turn out. 

JW- Erm, Mrs H, I’m pretty sure that’s called shop-lifting. 

MrsH- Well, he shouldn’t have tried to play a trick on me, dear! 

GL- Just going to pretend I didn’t see these messages. I should probably be enforcing the law, you know, since I’m a police officer. 

_Gregory Lestrade changed the group name from “Sherlock Holmes and the malfunctioning pheasant” to “Mrs Hudson’s shoplifting extravaganza”_

GL- But that’s insane, Sherlock haha

GL- And you're hilarious, Mrs Hudson! 

MH- Oh, what an elaborate idea! I wonder how my dearest brother had the resources or connections to pull it off? 

JW- Wait...

JW- OH 

JW- MY 

JW- GOD 

JW- MYCROFT??? 

JW- You’re helping him with all this, aren’t you??? 

MH- I will neither confirm nor deny that accusation. 

GL- BLOODY HELL, YOU ARE! 

MollyH- There is absolutely no way, guys. I mean, come on! It’s _Mycroft_ xx 

MH- Might I remind you, once again, that I am able to see these messages. 

GL- Yeah Molly, that’s what I would have said _yesterday_ but I think today has taught us that the Holmes brothers are anything but predictable! 

JW- I agree. 

JW- Also, is no one else worried that I’m the only one they haven’t pranked yet? 

GL- Nope, you’ve had your fun laughing at us, now it’s our turn ;). 

MrsH- I completely agree, Detective Inspector! 

MollyH- Same hahahahaha xx 

JW- Glad to know I can count you lot amongst my friends. 

JW- Seriously though, I live with Sherlock, what if he does something really extreme? 

GL- Oh, he probably will! 

MollyH- Undoubtedly! xx 

MrsH- Definitely! 

JW- No, but what if it’s dangerous or something? 

MrsH- It probably will be! 

MollyH- Yes, I suspect so xx 

GL- Yeah, 99% chance you’ll end up with no eyebrows or something! 

MrsH- Oooohhh, if that happens, send us photos!

GL- Oh my God, yes! 

MollyH- And if John won’t, Sherlock definitely will lol xx

JW- Can you all stop hoping for my demise? And Sherlock, Mycroft, if you’re reading this, I’ll have you know I’m actually rather fond of my eyebrows and would like to keep them….on my face. Not in an envelope or something. I know what you two are like, you find a loophole in everything. 

**4:16 PM**

GL- Anything happened yet, John? Eyebrows still intact? 

JW- No, nothing’s happened yet. 

JW- I’m bloody scared, though. 

GL- You served in Afghanistan! 

JW- Somehow, this is worse. 

**To be continued….**

**A/N- Keep an eye out for part two, to find out how they prank John ;)....**


End file.
